Blind Stitches and Winter Survival

No, I haven’t fallen off the grid—okay, I might have slipped the grid a little, but I’ve not done so in my usual winter slump. I’d like to think it’s because after years of practice, I’ve learned how to survive winter a little better. No, full-spectrum lighting is not part of my W.S.K, (and as soon as I post this—just because I have posted this—I may very well fall into a deep dark place), and I haven’t returned to medication (aside from an occasional glass of wine in front of my keyboard). And in spite of the brutal cold outside that started in November and is now stretching into March (many mornings, like as this morning, it has been well below zero), this winter has flown by for me. My secret? I’ve been completing my first draft of my next novel, formerly known as Blind Sight.

Now that the first draft is complete, a more appropriate title has emerged, BLIND STITCHES It fits much better since one of the main POV characters is a seamstress, and the other is vicariously ‘blind’—that is, his delusional mother believes he is blind.

Having said that—about not falling into my usual winter slump—I must add a disclaimer about the way winter may have affected my writing. BLIND STITCHES is a little on the darker side, psychologically speaking. Then again, it’s difficult for me to be objective about my novels, especially when it comes to gauging how dark, or twisted, or disturbing my readers might consider them. I will admit to a sensitive constitution—I don’t like horror stories, and while I enjoy the occasional thriller, it takes my nervous system days to recover. So, what I consider dark may seem merely ‘dim’ to someone else.

I don’t have a projected date of publication for BLIND STITCHES, but I anticipate having it out there within the next six months. I need time away from it while it’s out with my beta readers, and I will use that time to read some Russian literature and to work on the cover layout.

Meanwhile, Portrait of a Girl Running has received some nice reviews and mentions—check these out if you are inclined:

• A nice review at Digesting the Words
• The Bookscape Report—another good review!
• This is a review for Portrait of a Protege, and it's only 3 stars, but I really like it—an honest, gut reaction!
• Caught Within the Pages (this isn't a review--the blogger simply drives home for me the importance of an eye-catching cover, and her remarks made me smile!)

And I would especially like to thank a loyal reader whom I shall refer to as Mr. Left8, from over on the WoodenBoat Forum, who started a really nice post about mybooks. (For my long-time readers, you may recall that when I wrote Uncharted: Story for a Shipwright, I spent a fair amount of time researching over at the WoodenBoat Forum, and it was grand fun!) That thread, and those who contributed to it, were a huge perk that helped me stay out of the doldrums! 

Pushing the Limits of Absurdity

I suppose I ought to post something now that it’s the beginning of a new year—and I thought I’d provide an update on what I’ve been up to, writing-wise. Blind Sighted was slow starting, but now I’m nearly 20k words into the story;  the characters and plot are beginning to take shape. I still have a lot of research to do in the following categories:

• Sino-Russian relations during the cold war
• The Berlin Wall
• The Russian ballet and costumes
• Delusional Disorder
• Narcissistic Personality Disorder
• Asperger’s Syndrome
• Common Russian expressions
• Being a professional seamstress in an upper-class, small New England community—Oh, wait, I don’t have to research that—I already have personal experience!

Hopefully this gives you a hint about what this story entails, and yeah, I will be pushing the envelope of absurdity—I mean, the main POV character’s name is Juliet, and her brother’s name is Romeo. Seriously. What kind of a mother names her children Rome and Juliet, especially with a last name Glitch!? And let’s not forget Kim (the poor guy whose delusional mother believes he’s blind). When a girl’s life already pushes the boundaries of absurdity, it’s easy for someone else’s absurd life to draw her in—dangerously easy.

I’ve also decided to do a little book promotion for Portrait of a Girl Running, and its sequel Portrait of a Protégé. I’ve been reading up on marketing books in this ever-evolving world of publishing, and it seems that slow and steady has more of an impact on long-term marketing than the old model of creating a huge bang at a book’s release (yeah, I’ve been reading Kristine Kathryn Rusch’s blog). That said, now, a couple of months after the release of my Portraits novels, you will see me doing what I didn’t think I’d ever get up the gumption to do—promote my books (with the help of publicist Paula Margulies, because you know I wouldn’t do it on my own!).

That said, I should plug my networking stuff, so, if you'd like to follow me on Twitter or Facebook, that would be okay with me! My books are also on Goodreads ... in case you were wondering ....

Meanwhile, here’s an absurd song I wish I could use as my theme music for Blind Sighted—sort of.

Changes and Alterations

… Speaking of change or growth or self-empowerment, or whatever you want to call it … I think I am forever destined to ride this cycle of discontentment into striving into frustration into acquiescence onto a plateau, rinse and repeat. I value growth exceedingly. I push myself into discomfort in so many aspects of my life, hoping for growth if not enrichment. I have benefited even if at times the results have been harrowing. This means I am also coming to terms with my strengths and weaknesses and my boundaries. These threads weave their way through my life, including the threads of my writing.

All four of my novels took years to sew up—from inception to the story’s conclusion. A lot of that that time was sucked up because of not knowing what I was doing. Too many of my characters were shallow and all over the place. The story arcs seemed to take a circuitous route. And the prose itself was laden with so much unnecessary verbiage. Now that I finally have those books stitched up, pressed, and published, I’ve been thinking about how great it would be to actually know what I’m doing ahead of time—that’s right, OUTLINING! Using an actual pattern instead of simply draping fabric over a forms and seeing what jumps out at me. Outlining is supposed to streamline the whole writing process. And in theory, I really like the concept of outlining—it’s like ultimate control (and yeah, I kind of like to control stuff and know how things will turn out in real life), so what’s not to love about outlining? In fact, the idea of it has made me discontent with my former make-it-up-as-I-go-along approach to writing.

The problem is, all I seem to be doing is hanging around with these new and fascinating yet ethereal characters in my head, but no plot—like laying the pattern on some amazing fabric, but not being able to visualize the garment. Of course, I do have a few plot points—I do know what each character wants and what stands in their way, but I can’t seem to visualize them playing together. They—and their story—have no solidity. It occurs to me that a basic idea is all I’ve ever had when I started writing a story. Yeah, I’d like to say that pushing my brain to work in a different way would make me a better writer, a better person, but good grief—at what point am I just going to accept the way I work creatively and be happy—yes, content—with that?

Okay, there, I said it! I have officially committed to just writing my next novel by the-comfortable-seat-of-my-pants, one stitch at a time. I don’t know how long it will take to sew Bind Sighted together, or how many times I will have to rip out its seams and refit it, but it’s got to be a whole lot better than poking my needle at nothing at all!

Blindsight—Seeing What We Can't See

Because I’ve always written primarily by the seat of my pants, beginning with just an idea and a vague destination, I really want to try out a new approach, which is not new at all—outlining. Part of this approach entails theme (although knowing the theme up front is not absolutely necessary, it’s supposed to be really helpful, and I need all the help I can get!). The theme should help the outline take shape, running its thread throughout and tying everything together. I have never consciously assigned a theme to my stories up front, though by the time I type THE END, the theme is pretty clear.

For my next project, I've been mulling over ideas and keep coming back to a couple of possibilities, one of which I stumbled upon quite by accident. It has to do with the title of this project “Blind Sighted.” Yeah, it's sort of a play on the word blindsided, but it also alludes to the fact that the mother of one of the main characters believes her son is blind—but he’s not! Yes, she’s delusional.

In the process of researching delusional disorders and simply typing “blind sighted” into Google, I came across the medical term, Blindsight. Well, now, this is quite fascinating, I thought, and serendipitous! Blindsight, according to Wikipedia, is the ability of people who are cortically blind due to lesions in their striate cortex … to respond to visual stimuli that they do not consciously see. This cartoon* nicely illustrates it:

So, this idea of responding to visual stimuli without consciously “seeing” it fascinates me! Metaphorically, this seems like something I could expand upon as a theme. I mean, when it comes to relationships, we often tend to wear blinders—it can be very difficult to see a person as they really are. Sometimes, if they are highly-motivated actors, it may takes years. But meanwhile, we generally respond to individuals and navigate relationships intuitively—without conscious reasoning. That may work for a period of time, but often when there is some sort of upheaval, we may suddenly see what we have been previously blind to. Now, add a delusional layer, and I have all sorts of fodder for tension and conflict.

Do we see what we need or want to see in an individual? What happens when imagination or fantasy or delusion meets reality? I can tell you that it is very messy!

*image by Jolyon Troscianko